03 July 2010

Why, Evil Bugs, Why?


Hello, gentle readers. How have you enjoyed our seventh month so far? Are you looking forward to the fireworks and festivities?
Well, isn't that nice.

Oh, me? I've been living in INSECT INVASION HELL. Ants pour into the kitchen, feelers twitching for sugary treats. A few hours ago, moths descended upon an innocent bag of almonds in my pantry and built a moth theme park in its innards. These monsters lay eggs on anything in their path. And then their evil offspring dare to reach adulthood and ruin any food that's lying around.

I don't even want to go into the kitchen anymore. *Sigh* The dilemma of the gourmet vegetarian cook is mine. I am against killing animals. I don't like killing insects. George courteously escorts out the wayward spider or earwig that loses its way in our home. And yet, if at some point you don't kill ants or moths, they will take over your kitchen and you won't have any part of your home to yourself. At that point you might as well stop paying your mortgage and move out.

So I bought ant bait. Tomorrow I shall purchase moth bait. These paynim hordes shall die by my (merciless) hand. We will sanitize the kitchen, and after a suitable period of mourning, George will make a fruit pie. And all shall be well, and all manner of thing shall be well.

Amen.

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