Smoothie FAIL

When the weather's warm and I'm trying to eat healthfully, I frequently treat myself to a fruit smoothie for breakfast. Due to my human nature, I am a big fan of chocolate milkshakes, and in fact my very first smoothie was a chocolate-banana concoction entitled "Funky Monkey." Although my 17 year-old self snickered while ordering "one Funky Monkey, please," I so relished that smoothie that I became a regular. A chocolate smoothie is in my opinion a lot like a chocolate milkshake but healthier and more flavorful (I know that Julia, an ice cream aficionado, is frowning in disbelief at this…apologies!). But I don't make myself chocolate smoothies for breakfast. When I lived in Israel one summer, it was so hot in the mornings that I repeatedly tried to have chocolate ice cream for breakfast, and it would always make me sick to my stomach. So regretfully I have given up attempting chocolate for breakfast.

My usual smoothie recipe for 1 person goes something like this:

Smoothie

1/2 banana in chunks
1/2 cup frozen fruit (my favorites are peaches, blueberries, or strawberries)
vanilla soymilk poured in the blender up to the level of the top of the fruit
a touch of orange or pineapple juice to give it a little acidity
optional: some plain yogurt to give body and a little roughness

Put all in blender. Pulse on the highest level in short spurts to keep hard frozen chunks from clogging up the blade. Make sure it's all smooth and well-mixed; you might need to wield a rubber scraper to move large chunks around.

George, I should note, does not like his smoothies with vanilla soymilk. He prefers just yogurt and juice. George's tribal-anarchist cousin Andy adds granola to his smoothies.

Anyway, this morning I was whipping up a quick smoothie for myself. When I started pouring the rich creamy smoothness down my throat, I almost spit it out again. I had substituted grapefruit juice for orange juice by accident, and I loathe grapefruit juice. So yes, I screwed up a smoothie. I attempted to procrastinate by writing a blog post. Now I'm finished and I have to drink up my awful smoothie because there are children starving in Zimbabwe.